There are days when I look back and know how badly I messed up my life… And some of those are all night adventures, as I cry into my pillow hoping nobody hears. I don’t want anyone to know… Because they might recognize, as I do, that She’s the Coolest Woman on the Planet… That woman whom I’ll reveal at the end of this story.
I don’t want to hurt anyone…
I don’t even want them to know…But, my heart is broken, and my soul hurts.
Oh, it isn’t what you might think. And I’d do it again. That thing I did that messed up my life so horribly bad. I’d give up absolutely everything that might have been for the kids who don’t quite understand the sacrifice that was given, so they could have the blessings and benefits they now have. They’re happy. They’re living the lives of their dreams. And I’d give it all up, over and over again, to watch them experience success. To watch them find God in their lives and live for Him, in ways that might never have happened, had I not provided that base, so determinedly, as they were growing up.
She’s the Coolest Woman on the Planet
But you won’t know that, while she’s preparing you dinner, or cleaning up after you. You may not notice, when she puts money in your pocket, or adds money to your bank account, or puts gas in your tank. You may never notice that she’s sleeping in the car so you can sleep in a house. And you may not realize the value she adds to your life, by taking you to lunch on the last dollar she has to her name. But she’s the coolest woman on the planet, and she’ll NEVER let you down.
You may not notice her, praying through the night for your blessings and success, while she suffers failure on her own.
You probably won’t know that all those things you disapprove of about her, are the things she prays you never experience. Or that you never know how many nights she slept under the stars praying for your safety, because she didn’t know where you were. And she didn’t want you to know that she wasn’t safe, where she slept. She struggled with you knowing how difficult her life was, how hard she worked, and how many hours she worked extra, so you wouldn’t have to. She wanted better things for you. So she worked hard to provide those better things.
Be Grateful She’s Yours
The worst thing she has to live through in her life is the perceived rejection that spills from your lips as you go about the process of growing through those years. Those awful years of struggling to gain your independence, of learning to stand on your own. She isn’t in your way.
When she’s propping you up with prayer, encouragement, and sustained worry – because she knows how often you’ll screw this up before you get it right… She’s already been there.
She’s your biggest fan. More than anyone else in your life will ever love you, she loves you, because she gave so much of her life to you.
Whether it was the nine months she carried you, growing inside her, or the next many years that she struggled to provide for you… She’s always been your biggest fan.
Anything you give her pleases her, because she wants to know you think about her now and then. Hopefully, you appreciate her, just a little bit. She wants to know that too. But if you don’t tell her, she’ll be okay, because she’s just grateful for you.
The Coolest Woman on the Planet – is your Mom.